Today I returned from a mountain trip with over 20 people, most of whom I met in the last 3 months.
What a stark difference.
I am astounded that I have been living in the States for 5 months this week. Seriously. Its hard to comprehend. There are days it feels completely normal to be living in an apartment, working a hospital nursing job here in the States. But, there are also days it feel utterly foreign as if I'm living someone else's life. I'm still at a point where I long for things to feel normal...but I also have fear-filled moments on the days when I realize I have not thought about my "African life" throughout the day. I fear that my memories will fade. I fear that I will forget all God allowed me to experience. I still struggle with how I've changed. I know I have changed. But I still cannot begin to articulate how.
I have however figured out two facts of life that will ring true forever...
#1- Life goes on. Somehow without our permission and without our comprehension...life goes on. It doesn't matter what we're going through or how we are coping with it...the world will continue. It doesn't matter if you feel like you're in a hole and would much father cover the top and remain there...the world around you will keep moving. People will fall in love. Friends will come and go. People will get sick and maybe even die. Jobs will be lost and found. The world will continue...the question is, will you stand still or choose to move alongside those you love.
#2- God is never-changing. I have just experienced my first fall in three years. I have seriously loved every minute of it. The first day with a chill in the air. The first leaf with a hint of yellow or red. The fallen leaves covering my car each morning. The children dressed in their Halloween costumes coming door to door. Pumpkins on every door step. I have loved it. But more importantly, during this season God has spoken to me. Just as sure as we are that seasons will come and go...that next year this time the leaves with be falling off the trees again...just as sure as we know after these next months of cold weather...the warmth of spring will return...just as sure as we are that after night comes, the sun will rise again...God is just that sure. He is that solid. His character will never change. He will always be loving. He will always be sufficient. He will always be enough.
I am thankful to have learned these two truths and be able to come out overly blessed. I am in a season of transition. One that no one around me can truly understand. One I have extreme trouble facing needless to say articulating to others. But God in His faithfulness and sufficiency has brought me to this point and will continue to propel me forward. There have certainly been days I have chosen to hide in my hole, put the cover on top, and let the world spin around me. But most of the time I have grabbed hold of our never-changing God and gone along for the ride. And in that God has blessed me beyond my wildest dreams. A door was open for me to take a nursing job in Greenville, SC. The work is hard and I still have tons to learn, but I'm daily blessed by those around me and love the opportunity to care for patients in their most vulnerable moments. I live in an adorable apartment in a great neighborhood only 3 minutes from work. And I have found a wonderful community of people to live life with. They challenge me to seek the Lord in everything I do. They challenge me to serve those around me with a love some days I'm not sure I have. We quickly have become a family...challenging each other when need be...picking each other up when one falls...loving each other the best we know how...and having tons of fun along the way.
So I am thankful. I am astounded how quickly the time has gone. But I am thankful my season of transition is well on its way. I still struggle with the stress that work throws at me. But I am thankful God has blessed me with this opportunity to learn and grow. I have trouble believing tomorrow I won't wake up to the sweet hugs, grimy fingers, and gorgeous faces of my babies in Mozamibque. But I have been overly blessed with a community of friends to live life alongside here in Greenville.
So in all of this...I remain thankful to my God who loves me.
Happy Thanksgiving week!
