Jumping!

This is a continuation on my thoughts and feelings behind last night's post.
I was given an amazing book by some very good friends (I LOVE you Holli and Christopher...and miss you so much) for Christmas.  It is called Sun Stand Still, written by Stephen Furtick (who I have heard speak several times...and many of you NewSpringers will know of).  And, yes just now I have found the time and energy to open it and start reading, and I'm loving every page.  If you know me, you know I'm not a reader.  Ok, I'm getting better...but still I'm not a sit down devour a book in a day kind of person.  But this is a book I'd suggest to anyone who is looking to figure out where God wants them and why certain people see God do the impossible in their lives while others sit complacent waiting on Him to show up.  This is the quote and concept that has me thinking today:
"Remember this: God doesn't just show you which wave he wants you to jump next.  He also positions his strong arm underneath to sustain you every step of the way.  He knows every fear you're facing.  He knows all the uncertainties you're navigating--only they're not uncertainties to him.  Your perhaps isn't a perhaps from his perspective.  To him, it's more like an opportunity for faith formation.  And it's not just your faith he's building.  If you'll go out deeper, he will use you to set people free all around you.
Be honest about your perhaps--with God and with others.  Acknowledge, assess, and deal appropriately with your fears.  Approach your impossibilities with confident humility.  Pray that God will give you assurance of his presence and clarity in every decision you make.  Through faith in his promises, keep yourself tightly connected to him.  Be assured that he's got you in his grip.
And when the wave of fear or doubt crashes in...JUMP."

Just like I said last night...I want to be someone that lives by faith (or audacious faith as Stephen calls).  I want to jump!  I don't want to let fears, doubts, uncertainties, darkness, and perhaps this will never happen moments stop me from seeing my God do the impossible in my life and those around me.
#1- "Your perhaps isn't a perhaps from his perspective."  Truth!  I pray God gives me eyes to see from his perspective so I am able to change my doubts and my thoughts of perhaps that will never work/perhaps that will never happen into trust that my God can do absolutely anything!
#2- "And it's not just your faith he's building.  If you'll go out deeper, he will use you to set people free all around you."  Exciting!  I have seen this, and I pray I see it more and more.  I want others to know that me being here, doing what I'm doing is not to lift my name high but instead for me to become less so He can become greater!
#3-"Approach your impossibilities with confident humility."  I have more impossibilities (or things that feel impossible) than I can begin to explain at the moment.  So what is confident humility...for me it is admitting that in my own strength I can do nothing and instead choosing to stand confident in the Lord and his strength!
#4- "Pray that God will give you assurance of his presence and clarity in every decision you make."  At the moment I am the person people are running to to help with medical decision making...many days I am reminded I am a 24 year old girl with less than 2 years of nursing experience in a culture I'll never understand fully being asked to speak my second language (which is constantly a struggle).  I have been humbled these last few weeks.  I have looked at many and said...I just don't know.  I have always been a confident person, able to answer questions diplomatically, able to exercise wisdom when making decisions...but I'm in over my head.  The good thing is...God isn't.
#5- "JUMP" I want to know what this means.  I remember when I was deciding to come to Moz originally it felt like I was jumping off a cliff and wasn't positive God would catch me.  I knew that I knew I was suppose to come (ok I was as confident as a person can be).  But there were still constant doubts and fears about moving to a new place, disappointing everyone around me, being extremely inadequate to do the job I was being asked to do...but when I look back I know I was in God's grip.  He placed me here...on the opposite side of the world...to do just what I'm doing for now.

So that's that...today I'm choosing to JUMP.  Now maybe in a few hours when I've been knocked down a few times by the world around me, been found without the answers again, gotten frustrated by one thing or another, been overwhelmed by my insecurities or uncertainties I'll feel differently...but for now I'm JUMPING!